Monday in Madison (Warning... emo content)
So this past evening I drove to Madison and hung out with my ex, Erica. It was a pretty good night overall. We ended up hanging out at one of her neighbors places. Oddly enough he's a 40 year old guy but he was cool shit. I never thought I'd call a guy in his 40s cool but I guess he's become pretty good friends with their family and Erica wanted me to meet him. We actually spent like 2 and a half hours over there just talking about random stuff. Tonight held somewhat of a meaning to me though...
It was kind of an odd coincidence that right about this part of June last year I went to Madison and hung out with her. Of course last time led to us going out for 8 months. In fact, if her and I were still together, it would be a year this upcoming saturday. I'll be honest... I do miss the relationship I had with her. I dont know how she feels. She seems happy about being single and us just remaining friends though. I dont really know how she feels overall though because we just dont talk about that kind of stuff anymore. I would almost feel nervous bringing something like that up around her as I'd be worried it would cause some drama. Maybe it's because in the back of my mind I like to believe that she misses our relationship and if her and I talk about it, she might tell me otherwise. It hurts and definitely sucks but I think I'd rather go to sleep every night assuming she still had feelings for me than knowing differently.
As the night winded down I actually got kinda sad because it brought back a bunch of memories we had from last summer. We actually did a lot of things that her and I did last summer. We walked around State St and downtown, and around this weird garden thing on the UW Madison campus. In the garden there's a gazebo which brings back a lot of memories. Last year when her and I first started hanging out, we walked to that gazebo and sat down on the bench inside it. It was kind of cold that night so she sat really close to me, took my arm and put it around her. We had gotten close a couple times before that that night but for some reason, that very moment meant a lot to me. Tonight though I followed her around the garden and to somewhat of a suprise to me, we never even went in the gazebo...
